Silke Jasso
A global pandemic, aliens, cicadas…and ZOMBIES? The CDC has decided to scare the world a little bit more this year by making sure that we know what to do whenever a zombie apocalypse occurs. Because well, 2020, 2021, and 2022 were an absolute shit show, and 2023 is, unfortunately, shaping up to be just like it. I’m sorry, let’s face it. With the way the situation is going you sort of just have to sit down and nod your head. Which is what the CDC did to keep us at ease. According to Nostradamus, 2021 will be jam-packed with several events that could shape the future of humanity. Some of the predictions include a famine of Biblical proportions, a comet either hitting Earth are coming very close, solar storms, and of course a Zombie apocalypse.
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In case you don’t know who Nostradamus is, he’s a 16th-century French astrologer and is best known for his book Les Propheties. It is a collection of several properties that he has made. He is given credit for predicting the rise of Adolf Hitler and World War II. So for 2021, he predicted that scientists would create a biological weapon and produce a virus that can turn humans into zombies. Where is Will Smith when you need him, huh?
Zombie Apocalypse?
The prediction reads, “Few young people: half−dead to give a start. Dead through spite, he will cause the others to shine, And in an exalted place some great evils to occur: Sad concepts will come to harm each one, Temporal dignified, the Mass to succeed. Fathers and mothers dead of infinite sorrows, Women in mourning, the pestilent she−monster: The Great One to be no more, all the world to end.”
So, to have a back-up plan the Centers for Disease Control and Preparedness create a campaign to help ease the fears. They decided to share several tips on how one can be zombie ready just in case. Because well, it’s better to be prepared. My guess here is that they prepared by watching The Walking Dead and learned from their mistakes. CDC writes, “As it turns out, what first began as a tongue-in-cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages has proven to be a very effective platform. We continue to reach and engage a wide variety of audiences on all hazards preparedness via zombie preparedness”.
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Trying to alleviate the situation a little bit, they also noted “You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.” In order to survive this so-called zombie pandemic, CDC says that one needs to prepare an emergency kit.
Here are a few things they want you to include.
- Water (1 gallon per person per day)
- Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you can eat regularly)
- Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
- Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
- Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
- Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
- Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
- First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
So, once your kit is complete, it’s time to come up with that very specific emergency plan. Apparently, this includes where you do and where to go if the zombie starts appearing outside your house. One can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or another emergency according to the CDC. Here are the following steps you want to make sure to follow so you don’t get killed.
- Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
- Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home or your town evacuated because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
- Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
- Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.
2023, we’re ready for you!
If the zombies do start roaming the streets, the CDC says that they would conduct an investigation. Just like if it was any other disease outbreak. They would determine the cause of the illness as a source of the virus/toxin/ infection. As well as how it is transmitted, and how readily it is spread. They will also study how to break the cycle of transmission in order to prevent any further cases and how patients can be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas,” they noted.
So, there you have it, everything you need in order to stay safe during a zombie apocalypse. Because at this point, I’ll believe anything. If you want to learn more you can visit the CDC website or click here. Enter at your own risk. 2022 is going pretty great, huh?
