Did you just eat a bowl of chili? Do you suffer from daily silent-but-deadly farts? Does your family complain about you passing gas too much?
If this sounds like you, then Fashion First Aid has a product on Amazon that you might want to try. The “Subtle Butt: Reusable Gas Neutralizer” adheres to your underwear and neutralizes any odor that passes through it, so the smell doesn’t spread. The pads are are made of soft, fabric-covered antimicrobial activated carbon and come in packs of five.
The product may sound like the perfect stocking stuffer for someone who struggles with smelly farts, but its reviews vary between one star and five stars. You’ll have to read the reviews yourself to decide if it’s worth buying the gas neutralizers, which is perfect, because the reviews are absolutely hilarious.
One Amazon customer who gave the product one star wrote:
Okay this was a gift for a friend with a MAJOR gas problem. Well, she tried it out and as she said, ‘I put those stupid little things on and let em rip and it smelled like a dinosaur took a dump in her office.’ So there you have it, they don’t work. It is such a tiny little pad too. I understand the area that expels isn’t huge but the leakage of the gas spreads everywhere.
On the other hand, in a review entitled “Life changer,” Rachel Amabile gave it five stars and wrote:
How can I possibly thank the makers of this product enough? Too many lonely nights I spent couch bound and alone due to my heinous gas problem. No more sleepless nights due to constantly waking myself up with my own vile stench and having to stop, drop and roll myself out into the hallway until the air cleared. The birds outside my open window have finally started to sing again since I no longer emit a gas resembling that of their rotten unhatched children. And no more unwanted inquiries from the local police reporting on calls from passers by that there may be a decaying body on my premises. You have given me my life back Subtle Butt. More like Incognito Butt if I may be so bold!
Another Amazon customer said, “I was destined to a life of shame and ridicule – that is, until I stuck a Subtle Butt in my boxer briefs. Woo-hoo! No more disgusted looks from my girl and no more need to clear the area in a hasty shuffle as soon as the bomb drops.” The reviewer gave the product five stars and added that it helped them return to a life of dignity.
Brandon Sanchez complained that the gas neutralizers don’t stop the sound of the gas being released in his hopefully joking review:
One day as I was on the couch with my wife and 4 kids I let one rip, and the pad did absolutely nothing to retaliate against this vicious beast. My wife then took the kids and walked out the door to never return again. My unsuspecting dog, Rondo, no longer has functioning ear drums due to the lack of features on this here fart protection pad. But this was not to compare to the fact that I had forgotten about the spaghetti I was cooking. Minutes after the initial release, all the air in my house ignited in a massive fireball and I lost 3/4 of my body hair. This pad ruined my marriage, my dog, and my body hair. Thanks a lot, Fashion First Aid.