Sam Amico
One way to survive a marriage is to do exactly that — just survive. That is what one woman found out about her husband after buying his coffin, then trying to give it away, after he turned out to be a survivor of not just marriage, but life in general.
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The wife, based in Scotland, raised some eyebrows when she listed the coffin on Facebook marketplace. She has not, however, raised the price.
“Giving away a brand new coffin,” she wrote. “Bought it for my husband but he has lived longer than I had hoped and expected so no longer required and it’s cluttering up my house.”
Well, of course. A resting place for the dead can do that to a living room.
“Pillow not included as my dog has taken to it,” she added. “I am in Easdale but can deliver within reason. Just to add I cannot deliver to Mallaig as I am banned.”
Margaret Stables Sells Coffin on Facebook
Wait. She is banned from Mallaig?
“Hoorova long story about Mallaig,” she wrote. “Was one Hogmanay when things went a wee bit too far at the Marine Bar with some men my husband works with offshore.
“Long story short I was papped out the marine, barred from the west highland then was no longer permitted past the west bay car park boundary.”
No one is really sure what any of that means, not even Scots. But the more this particular woman posts, the more it seems like she’s not someone whose hand you would want to take in marriage.
Especially if you’re still alive.
