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Firefighter Prostitute Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office
Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office

A Tampa Bay firefighter was arrested for soliciting an undercover police detective for sex on Wednesday while wearing his uniform. Though this is probably not the case, I am an optimist and will read uniform to mean, “Helmet (visor down), flame retardant jacket, wearing an oxygen tank and mask, with ax in hand” because that’s the world I want to live in.

46-year-old Brian Hartzler was arrested in a Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office prostitution sting that is really going to heat up the Tampa Bay police/firefighter rivalry. Couldn’t cut your fellow civil servant a break? It’s not like this is a cool civic government bust. This isn’t a city councilman trolling for alleyway hand jobs. Brian’s got a tough job. He needs a release. The man is willing to run through the gates of hell for the community — plus God knows how many alligators eating high school kids who OD’d on spray paint and NyQuil in a swamp, this is Florida after all — and you won’t even let him pay for a few minutes of relaxation?

Prostitution should be legal. Hartzler should start a GoFundMe for his legal defense. If Robert Kraft isn’t going to end up going down for getting got down on a damn fireman shouldn’t suffer any consequences.

Hartzler, who has been with the Tampa Bay Fire Department since 2017, was released on $500 bond. As of now whether or not he will keep his job is pending an investigation so if you feel like @’ing the Tampa Bay Fire Department to let them know that Hartzler’s crime isn’t worthy of being fired because everyone needs a little love every now and then, feel free.

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Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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