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Neon Sign Fails Wikimedia
Wikimedia

Drive through any business center, downtown, or otherwise economically inclined area of a town or city at night and you’re bound to be greeted with an endless stream of neon signs. Words shining brightly through the night to let people know that anything your heart desires — tacos, gas, a pharmacy, real live nudes! — are waiting for you. They’re the old school version of a cell phone notification.

These neon signs are made to get your attention and a lot of attention is what they get. Unfortunately for the dear store owners for whom the signs shine, sometimes things go awry. A bulb goes out. A wire becomes frayed. Often what is left afterward is comedy gold.

These are some of the funniest, most unfortunate neon sign fails we could find thanks to the magic of the internet. Because really, that’s what the interwebs is for. Not information or even X-rated content. It’s for epic fails, funny fails, funny memes, funny photos, funny animal stuff, funny videos, funny quotes, and all other kinds of useless crap. Leave the learning to the nerds we’re here to chortle until Pepsi shoots out as many orifices as we can make it.

A Depot for What?

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We had a good laugh with this one. #hoedepot

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Funny thing, I checked, there are no aisles for those at Home Depot.

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This Can’t Be Legal

Haha okay but what goes on in here???

Drive-Thru Religious Circumcisions?

Having a Bris before 4pm is, of course in bad taste. This is low key one of the worst neon sign fails in here.

Dunk Them in What?

WTF don’t tell me what to do with my almonds.

Not Where You Want to End Up on a Road Trip

To be fair, the bathrooms at most Shell stations are, in fact, hell. This isn’t totally sending the wrong message.

What Rental?

Who needs to rent this?

Nasty Buffet

We used to have enough decency to call this Shoneys.

Martha Washington’s Unofficial Tit(le)?

As far as unfortunate sign burnouts go, it feels especially disadvantageous for banks and the like. No one is going to get a loan from the place with funny pics of a boob word on its storefront.

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The Widow Morrison Probably Disagrees

Hopefully this gave someone a good lol on an otherwise crappy day.

Where is This?

Funny, we used to just call this a Starbucks. Either way it sounds like pervert Disney Land.

“We Only Sell Dianetics and 50 Shades”

There are hilarious signs and then there are just accurate ones.

Accurate

But what it lacks in taste it makes up for in keeping me awake for twenty hours.

Like Manure, Or?

Haha. OMG. Poo. Funny stuff.

You Had One Job

Don’t let the lights burn out in that sequence! That’s it.

Not Bad

Pretty good deal but do you have some pics we can see first?

Are There Tickets?

This has to happen to pretty much every Shoe Carnival in the country. At any given time there are at least 50 Hoe Carnivals in the continental United States. It’s not even a funny sign anymore. It’s just their brand. It probably used to get a huge amount of laughs but now everyone is so used to it they just shrug and move on.

Watch: Man Sticks Hand in Lion Enclosure, Lion Bites Man

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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