The American neighborhood is practically a mythologized place in our modern country’s lore. Kids running around playing at dusk, barbecues and block parties, perfectly cut grass on every lawn. This idealized version of the neighborhood is a prominent stone in America’s Infinity Gauntlet of values.
Americans buy into this vision of the American neighborhood but also, ironically, revel in the undermining of it. A lot. One of the most popular settings of comedies and dramas involve the subversion of the all-American neighborhood. Television shows like Desperate Housewives and Weeds, and films like American Beauty and The Stepford Wives portray a dark hollowness beneath the sheen.
And here’s the thing: those movies and shows are right. All isn’t as well as one would be lead to believe. But here’s the other thing: the underlying turmoil is way grosser and dumber — so much dumber — than Hollywood makes it out to be.
And it all plays out on a website called Nextdoor, where neighbors basically just yell at each other and say mean things via internet comments. The Twitter account @BestofNextDoor collects the dumbest posts and arguments of all for our collective enjoyment. Here are some highlights.
The neighbor who doesn’t understand that people make up funny names for their WiFi networks.
This important argument.
This man who exercises his rights because he is a free American.
This lady who needs to wash her hands now.
A Packers fan and a Vikings fan in the same neighborhood.
An offended dog owner.
A psychopath offers advice.
The worst neighborhood watch ever.
This devolved quickly. (It always does.)
This woman selling what she thinks might be an original Van Gogh for seventy bucks.
And this giant WHOOSH of a political debate.