We’ve all been there — you really want to practice performing a circumcision before actually performing a circumcision, but none of your friends will let you practice on them. It’s not like you’re a trainee tattoo artist who can just practice your craft on your friends — foreskin just isn’t as readily available as normal skin. And a free tattoo beats a free circumcision every time!
Luckily, Amazon has you covered.
The Infant Circumcision Trainer is a nifty little item that enables you practice circumcisions over and over again, until you feel confident enough to remove the foreskin of an actual human child.
Still not sold? Well maybe some buyer reviews will sway you:
Amazon customer Bryant Perez gave the item four stars and claimed to have “practiced on this trainer before doing it on [himself].”
Crunchy Frog said that the item “makes a perfect Christmas gift for that hard-to-shop-for creepy uncle/circumfetishist. The only drawback is that it doesn’t scream, but you could easily remedy that by hooking it up to an MP3 player that plays circumcised baby screams while you ‘practice.'” Crunchy Frog gave it four stars too!
Another buyer, who gave the trainer a three star rating, had a more personal reason for giving it a positive review: “This reminds me of when my nephew was born. Poor kid was born with no eyelids. But the doctors were able to use his foreskin to fashion eyelids from it. Unfortunately now he’s cock-eyed.”
Clearly, you shouldn’t be performing medical procedures unless you are actually a medical professional. So don’t go performing any circumcisions unless you’ve actually been to medical school — which is something the sellers made sure to emphasize when they responded to a potential buyer’s question regarding DIY circumcisions: “We do not recommend performing any medical procedures unless you are a medical professional. Please let us know if you have any other questions. Have a nice day,” was their reply.