The Hottest New Piece of Winter Functional Fashion? Nose Warmers Amazon

Winter is coming. Is your wardrobe ready? Sure you’ve got hats, gloves, scarves, jackets, and boots, but is that everything? Are you maybe forgetting another part of your body that you’ve neglected to keep warm? Obviously you’ve got your eye muffs too, because no one wants to go frost blind. But I’m talking about your nose, fool.

The nose, as they say, is the exhaust vent to the soul. So protect it from the cold! Now you can with specialty nose warmers. You can find Aunt Marty’s Original Nose Warmers on Amazon and Etsy and, oh my. With a nose sporting one these you’ll certainly be the talk of the Hobby Lobby parking lot this winter.

According to Aunt Marty’s Etsy page, the nostril friendly knitter dreamt up the idea for nose warmers while playing in the snow as a kid. Her scarf wouldn’t stay on her face and her nose kept getting so cold that she had to keep going inside to warm up. Next thing she knew, nose warmers were born.

Here are a few of my favorites:

The Santa Hat

Nose Warmers Hat

Baby it’s cold outside, so warm up your face with this Christmas classic. You’ll be sleighing the cold with this cartilage cap.

Pretty Lavender Bling Nose Warmer

Nose Warmer Amazon

There’s only one type of ice you want on your shnoz, so put some bling on your beak! Is it hot in herre, or is it just your nose?

Baby Duck Nose Warmer

Nose Warmer Amazon

You’ll look un-ducking-believable with the Baby Duck Nose Warmer. No one will be calling you an ugly duckling when you’re sporting this game changer.

Snowman Nose – Nose Warmer

Nose Warmer Amazon

Are warm noses cool? You snow it! Trust us, this is the closest Frosty will get to your nostrils when you strap this onto your snout.

Red Nose – Nose Warmer

Conquer the cold, and all your enemies, in this stylish red nose warmer. You will bathe in the blood of the vanquished and your subjects will tell tales of your mighty deeds — of the unfrozen one, the breaker of frost, the warm-nosed — for centuries to come.

Happy Frog Nose Warmer

Nose Warmer Amazon

Cold noses? Frog-et about them! Frogs might be cold-blooded but your nose will be warm when you put this on.

As you can see, the hottest new trend in functional winter fashion is taking place front and center on the faces of people across the country. So don’t leave your nose out in the cold, strap these puppies on. Literally.

Watch: Company Makes Tailored Doggy Snowsuits for the Poshest of Pups

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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