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Move over, matching tattoos. There’s a new sign of commitment for poor decision makers who happen to love each other and it’s way more painful and body-altering (and thus a deeper expression of love) than some ink. Because nothing conveys love like paying someone to stab you in the ring finger, finger piercings have become an actual, real alternative to the engagement ring and wedding rings. It’s somehow a quasi-legitimate beauty trend.

As far as body piercing ideas go, this looks like one of the most painful options possible. The engagement ring piercing basically embeds some or all of an engagement ring beneath the surface of the skin in order to show your partner that your commitment is more than just skin deep and also that you’re insane.

Engagement piercings are basically just dermal piercings, as whatever you decided to have a body piercer shove into your finger — usually a dermal anchor — just goes right under the skin. Diamond dermal piercings and micro dermal anchors are also available. If you can dream up a way to mangle your ring finger in the name of love, the engagement ring piercing trend will find a way to make it happen.

By far the most upsetting engagement ring piercing image I’ve seen is the one in which the engagement ring is just straight up embedded in the ring finger and a circle of skin is just sitting there, elevated and gross like the hand has ringworm.

According to experts, the ring finger takes roughly a year to (maybe) accept the embedded ring. Risk factors include HORRIFIC ACCIDENTS IN WHICH YOU CATCH YOUR HAND ON SOMETHING AND THE RING IS RIPPED OUT OF YOUR SKIN. I’m no doctor but I’ve lived long enough to have gleaned that hands are important to humans and thus not an ideal place to suffer totally preventable, massive, crippling trauma.

Please just buy a normal diamond ring.

Watch: 6 Tips on How to Include Your Dog in Your Wedding

Rob Fox About the author:
Rob Fox is a writer, comedian, and producer based in Austin, TX. God made him left-handed to hide his own averageness from him.
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