Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and we all know what that means. Some of us will spend the day with our significant other, sitting by the fire enjoying a nice warm meal. Others, well, will wallow and mope, thinking they are going to be alone for the rest of their life because they have no one to spend Valentine’s Day with. There is no in-between, really.
Okay, I’m kidding, maybe there is. The in-between is definitely waiting for February 15th, because that’s when all the chocolate is 50 percent off. That’s what Valentine’s Day is about, right? Anyway, if you are one of those people who is spending Valentine’s Day alone, whether it’s because you don’t like the holiday, or you’re single because you just broke up with your partner, the Bronx Zoo has your back. For those of you who went through a terrible breakup this year, the zoo is offering you a chance to get back at your ex in a very odd, but satisfying way.
Turns out, the Bronx Zoo is offering a “special deal” this year by letting you name a cockroach after your wonderful ex. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little bit here. Yes, naming a cockroach-like your ex is wonderful and fun, but the Zoo is actually taking advantage of the holiday and is romanticizing the whole cockroach naming thing.
As part of their “Name a Roach”, the zoo states that just for $15 you can name a four-inch Madagascar hissing cockroaches for your “sweetheart because roses wilt, candlelight fades, but roaches are forever.” But between you and me, it’s more fun naming a cockroach-like your ex…because well, you get the point.
So gross, but hey, if it works as a “this is how to get over your ex” tact, then sure, why not. It’s a fun way to process a rough breakup. Who knows, maybe a Meerkat will eat it, and boom, bye ex! So if you want to jump on the bandwagon, all you have to do is fill out the online form and you’d be emailed a certificate verifying your newly named gross and slimy cockroach. Then you can go ahead and send it to that person you named it after to show them that you’re totally over them.
What a great way to celebrate Cupid’s Day. Talk about a perfect Valentine’s Day Gift!
Editors Note: This post was originally posted on February 7, 2019. It was updated on January 21, 2020, after Bronx Zoo announced “Name a Roach” was returning this year.